Deloitte

Do you want to get rid of all your pesky friends and/or potential suitors... then this is the job for you! Surely at some point in your life, you've thought to yourself "How can I eliminate the burden of having to hang out with my friends and/or annoying boyfriend/girlfriend"... The answer is simple work an average of 80 hours per week, usually out of town. Don't worry... those pesky friends will forget you exist in no time and your annoying boyfriend/girlfriend will as well. The upside to losing all of your real friends is that you have time (no less than 80 hours per week usually) to make new friends with all the other lonely people you work with. Your particularly lonely managers who have been using this strategy for 5+ years will always invite you to lunch or dinner on Friday night, Satuday and Sunday... o.k. invite might not be the right word... Now your thinking... that could probably make me single and alone, but how can I ensure that I will stay that way... The answer... you will become much less attractive. Under-eye baggage, the type of tan you can only get from spending months surrounded by the soft glow of a laptop monitor, an additional 15-40 lbs right around the middle, and that overall "I haven't slept in a week" look are generally part of the normal benefits package... if they don't offer it to you during your recruiting, rest assured that it is included.